Part Two – How 2023 is going, and a Pup named Josh!

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Hi Friends,

I wanted to publish part two to finish a post I did a week ago about a health setback I had this year, in April.

If you missed part one, you can read it here and the next post will be about the surgery I chose to have, my treatment, recovery and future plans.

Waiting for Biopsy Results

The time I waited for the biopsy results was way too long. Anything that has to be looked at in further detail in terms of test results at this level has to be sent to Miami as we do not have those facilities here in Jamaica. They can look at things up to a certain level, then the pathologists in Miami takeover. So that meant about a three week wait!

I tried to stay busy and positive, but despite my family being there for me above and beyond – and helping me mentally by checking in on me, as well as friends; it was hard not to think about what I saw on the ultrasound monitor. I kept busy anyway, going to work meetings, the gym, and meeting friends for lunch in Ocho Rios.

Trying to stay busy – I kept going to the Gym!

Discovering Josh in a Box!

One Saturday in April…when I was driving back from Ocho Rios to my home, I saw a man on the street holding up two of the most gorgeous puppies that I quickly recognized as Shihtsu-poodle mixes, my favorite type of dog – having three at home already. I was flabbergasted at the way he held them up into the traffic, and I heard a little voice in my head saying “Stop…Stop….” So I pumped the brakes and screeched to an immediate halt in front of him, which almost caused a serious accident behind me.

The Seller with the two puppies he had holding up in the noisy traffic that made me stop

I asked him why he was doing that to the puppies, that quite frankly looked frightened and were even whimpering. He said “I need to sell them, and look it must work, as you stopped!” – something told me to walk over to the truck beside him, and I saw a box. I walked over and peered in and there was another sweet puppy whimpering in the corner. I picked him up and realized he was missing an eye. I almost passed out. I felt that weak about it. I asked the seller why he had a puppy in a box that was clearly unhappy and missing an eye? He claimed he did not know that the puppy was missing an eye. At that immediate moment, I decided that the puppy would have a good home, I do not know how, where or why – just that the pull and connection to this puppy was very strong. I felt like I was supposed to be there at that time, and find the puppy.

Trying to pitch the puppies to my Boss to buy them!

I sent a message to my Boss who I know loves dogs, and sent her pictures of the two he was holding up. She immediately wrote back saying she would buy them to save them, but could not take them. We would find homes.

I reiterated to the seller that we would take the three of them, could he wait until Monday so I could sort out “where” we could keep them until homes were found? He agreed. I went home feeling happy that I could save some puppies from being dragged back to the side of the street to be sold.

That afternoon, I called him to see how things were going, and he boldly admitted that he had sold the two right after I left. I was so annoyed and upset. One thing though, he was unable to sell the one with the one eye. I reiterated again, that I would take him and could I come back and get him? He had already left and was making his way back to Kingston, where he lived. I was LIVID!!

To cut quite a long story short, I called him everyday until he sent the puppy back to me. I convinced Chris, that we had to take him, as I could not not think who else would. He was the cutest, sweetest little puppy, black and white markings and very loving. The day he was delivered to me in Ocho Rios, a week later, he could not stop licking my neck. It is as if he knew, his special “mummy” was here to save him from something not too nice. I felt it too! I also felt, it was a time to have a new puppy, a new life, and feel in the house while we were waiting for my next steps, results and what would take place after.

Finally getting Josh

The day I got Josh! He was and is such a loving little dog, and so grateful!

Naming the Puppy and WHY that name.

I decided right away to name the puppy JOSH. Why? Well I already had two with wine names, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio. More importantly; Joshua was an Old Testament hero who saved Jericho and had many challenges up against him. God led him there, and he won. I felt this puppy had so many challenges in his little life already, but he would win. And so would I.

I chose to use one of the guest rooms as the place he would get used to the house, and I moved in there with him as he would wake up a few times in the night and I did not want Chris to have to be awakened. Also due to Josh being vision impaired we could not just have him wondering around, and he was already getting on their other dog’s nerves as he kept walking into them.

As it turns out this little pup saved me around the time I was waiting for my results, and anxious about the future. I had him to focus on at the times that were scary to me, the night. The night is when I would lie in my bed and think about breast cancer, and what it could do. A life threatening disease to boot. I could not stop thinking about it until I got this puppy. The voice that day, I felt was a voice purposely put there to make me find this puppy. It was a plan, I knew it and felt it!

Biopsy Results…

As it turned out, the biopsy results were positive for “carcinoma in right breast” 1-2 CM was the stage of the lump (2 cm) and it was strongly advised I have an “immunohistchemistry” report done on the specimen of the biopsy so they could find out what the lump receptors were made of – very important information to then take to the oncologist to decide how the cancer is treated. That would take another three weeks!

I went to my GP who gave me a set of tests to do while we waited: an executive blood test, a bone scan (as he pointed out breast cancer likes to find itself in bones) yikes!, and a CT scan of my organs with radioactive fluid injected so they could see clear results….of course I ran and did the blood test, and then the CT scan…which I found daunting, but in the end it was not too bad once I relaxed and I had a great technician. It was an intravenous test, with alkaline flowing into the organs and a very strange feeling but not bad. The Bone Scan was a radioactive injection, then the actual scan about five hours after.

In the meantime the immunechemistry test results came back and pointed to Estrogen being the receptor in the lump in the breast. The Doctor explained that there was no reason he should not put me in estrogen blockers right away to stop the estrogen from flowing and setting in my ovaries, etc. So immediately I started taking that pill. I was then recommended to a Cancer specialist surgeon and Oncologist now that we had those results.

Other Test Results

The CT scan and Bone scans all came in normal thank God. And again, I had to not only thank God, but the fact that my time was not only focused on work, and home life, but now a brand new puppy who kept me up at night and I had no other choice but to focus on this little being who needed all my attention!

In the next post I will go over the surgery, treatment, and recovery as well as future plans.

It turns out, Josh was now saving me!

Love,

Neenie

How 2023 is going, after a huge health shock – Part one

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Hi Friends,

It has been awhile since I have written here, and I thought it is time to get back to writing and keeping this platform updated.

I had high hopes for this year. I set myself up for a huge fall with that way of thinking. Not saying you should not have high hopes as each year starts…but maybe I was too caught up in the fact that I wanted to “will” the pandemic finished and to start fresh.

Oh boy was I in for a shock!

The year started out on a depressing and sad note when my beloved step-dad passed away just before New Year’s Eve. He had been diagnosed with mouth cancer about five months before he passed. When I visited him in September 2022, he was uncomfortable but getting better. He had finished his radiation and albeit, he could not eat much – he was starting to taste things and even requested I cook him some nice “beef mince and rice” on the last evening I was there. I was not able to get back to see him, and put it in my head that he was getting better. Next thing, he was in the hospital and on his way out. I will never forget him, everything he did for me and all the years I visited him in Wellington, West Palm Beach at his peaceful and welcoming home.

My Step Father, Rudi and I

He is the reason I studied hotel management, the reason I could make a really good martini, and the reason why I became a “foodie!” – he taught me so much, including the way that humility gets you far.

I realized that the year had not started out very well, and I was in mourning. I tried to get myself back to the gym, and to go out as much as possible as the more I sat around the house on the weekend is the more depressed I became.

Cut to March. I realized that there had been a strange feeling in my right breast for a few months. Not only that, but it was actually seemingly changing shape. I am someone who goes for a mammogram (and ultrasound) almost every year, and the last one in 2022 was normal. There was a lump – but it was apparently “benign.” So if I felt anything I would put it to the back of my head thinking “oh he, the Doctor said not to worry, it is benign, no sign of cancer, stop worrying.” Not only did he say that to me, but he was conducting an ultrasound on a new modern machine when he said it. The report reiterated the same…so off I went, happily living my life.

Until February and then March…when things just did not look or feel “right.” I cannot even put it fully into words, except I know something was wrong!

I went back to the mammogram lab, and jumped past going to the Doctor first, as that would be too time consuming. In my head, I kept reading about more and more young women having breast cancer, so I was not about to ignore certain warnings.

I knew instantly that was there was something not quite right when the mammogram technician started asking me if there was breast cancer in my family. I looked at her like really? She said to sit outside as the Doctor would need to see me and do an ultrasound. My mother was waiting and I said to her, I do not have a good feeling about this. Let’s be prepared.

Lying down on the table getting the ultrasound I was praying hard, but knew something was wrong. The Doctor, a younger one to my regular Mammogram Doctor – said “oh dear, this is something here that does not look right at all.” I immediately sat up and wanted to see it on the large screen. Clearly it really did not look right. I could see the jagged edges around this lump and immediately knew it was cancer. He said what was on my mind “you need a biopsy and fast – let us do it day after tomorrow.” I asked him if they got it wrong the year before. The same lump in the same place. He said NO, this is a new one, I am telling you.

This made me more perplexed. If we are told in our 50’s to do yearly checks, and all was good a year ago, what the hell is this new one? All of these thought went bolting through my head….why…where….what did they miss?

Part two will cover the Biopsy and how I found out I had breast cancer. And what I have done since April 5th when I found out.

Stay healthy!

Much Love,

Neenie