Yep. Time has flown, and here we are! November, 2022, already.
I have been reflecting on what I want for the future, and this “new norm world” we now live in. Almost just about post pandemic.
So much has happened, in the last almost three years for us all, to put things into perspective. In so many ways.
BP or “Before Pandemic” my goals could have been “do more, do better make more $$, get this, get that..” NOW my goals seem to be so much more simplistic.
I SIMPLY want to get through each day with aplomb, satisfaction with a sense of elegance, innate peace and happiness and a sense of balance running through my veins that makes me feel like I actually contributed to this world.
I want to get up real EARLY in the morning, so I do not miss a f-ing thing. Not the sunrise, not the early walkers, not the stray cats coming for food. I want to walk in the garden with my strong coffee, smelling all the flowers, looking at the sunrise sky, wondering if it will be humid today. I want to talk to God. I want to watch the birds at the bird feeder and smile, I want to be…..in the MOMENT. I never had this before!!
I want to look through ALL my cookbooks, my coffee table design books, I want to get new recipes, I want to get some decor ideas, I want to try this and that, have friends over, meet for coffee, meet for wine, take food to someone who is sick, give back to the community…
I also want, selfishly to fix up my beautiful home, have more Summer BBQ’s, I want to entertain, I want people to feel they can just stop by, I want to create a beautiful shabby chic, cozy space for my peeps and family to ENJOY.
I want to travel to places I have never seen. I want to collect interesting things that REALLY mean something. I want to plan for the future but I also I want to give back.
I do not want to be pushed into some role someone wants me to be in. I want my own role. I want to command my own life, my own life rules, living with ethics and integrity of course.
I want to not care how I look when I go out in my fitness clothes, no makeup, so what? Don’t like it? Not bothered.
I want this segment of my life to ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING!!!!
I want to let go ghosts that haunt me, I want to let GO insecurities, “bad mind” people, overachieving goals….as I just want to enjoy each, day, to, the FULLEST.
It has been awhile since I have posted anything here, life has been so busy since I last posted in December 2020! And as you all know, so much has changed – but we have also had to get used to a continuing year of the pandemic, variants, vaccines and trying to keep the balance throughout it all.
Coming up the end of 2021, I feel a mix of emotions, and “feels” and have been going back and forth in my head as to how I am going to manoeuvre my new way forward post pandemic.
One lesson I have learnt, and it has not been an easy one…is that there are those whose “true” selves, came out in this era. The ones we thought we could count on, but could not. And at first, in saying goodbye to those people (sublimely or not) it was hurtful – but then I realised that sometimes people are only in your life for a season and a reason. And that is a lesson, maybe we all have to learn.
I leaned on my family and close circle of friends much more than I ever have. I may have over-shared my life story with certain confidantes, but it was the year you could.
Focusing on the positive, and what is to come, is how I have gotten through each day. Exercising and focusing on my fitness goals is another way I have kept the balance.
I wrote in a journal all throughout 2020, with goals and thoughts. Dreams and hopes. I prayed. I cried. I laughed. I cried again. I drank wine. It was a rough year last year and I think we all agree. What was incredible in the midst of such chaos, was how the things I wrote down last year, started to slowly manifest in my life.
I moved in to a dream home in July. I had walked past this house for four years, and always admired it — the space of the gardens around it, the trees and the house itself….we had been on the lookout for something new and fresh. And it came to me very easily in June, on a whim. After I was letdown by another house we were to move into and some bad news there. I looked back at my journal from May 2020 and saw that I had written about this very house in detail, and how I would love to find out more, in order to live there, and it worked! All my dream wish list items: large, open kitchen, a loft, lots of space outside, lots of guest rooms, a covered garage and a beautiful sunroom. I cannot wait to start decorating for Christmas!
I was one of those persons who stood outside in the HOT SUN for four hours in order to get my first dose of vaccine back in April, and then again in June (AstraZeneca.) Many people in Jamaica do not believe in vaccines much less the AstraZeneca. Yet I had been reading about it for months before we received it, and I felt very confident about taking that one. Albeit life is still a very cautious one, it has given me a level of feeling more “safe” – many of my friends who are vaccinated have gotten Covid, and stayed home with it, there was no need for hospitalisation. In fact most of them got it very mildly or asymptomatic. About a handful got it where it was like a bad flu.
I worked as hard as I ever have, knowing that in tourism in Jamaica, we have to put more out there to get the business for the future – and that meant creative marketing, public relations and social media. Social Media is 24:7. And I manage about 14 channels. Imagine how annoying that is to my friends and husband. My head is constantly down looking at the phone in order to answer questions about Island Outpost 24:7. It can get very stressful and a feeling of not ever going to have a day off, and that in itself is a challenge. I have had to pray about that too. However one has to do, what they have to do, and not complain. Especially now!
I have mapped out my future in my head, as I am sure MOST of you all have too….it will be a future with genuine, FUN people as my “circle”, NO guise, no “fakeness”….a future of MUCH more fitness goals in terms of competing, attending competitions, and taking on clients, why not?
The premise is to try to make more income where we can right? If that is ONE lesson I have learnt, it is do not sell yourself short. Do what you have to, even taking on extra work to make it all happen.
Don’t sweat the small stuff anymore, life is TOO FRAGILE for that.
In the next post I will talk about (and show pictures) of how I have simplified and edited my life in terms of wardrobe, my fridge organisation, general frivolous spending, and cutting out selfish/rude/insensitive/”bad mind” people.
We need to go forward in a much more genteel, gentle, kind… loving way, don’t you agree?